Nostalgia

Tasting the sweetness of your words resound
I forget myself in your world
But you already disappeared
And left a dying diabetic
In my mind, I look in your eyes
Blinded by the pain of unanswered whys’

How bitter the sting
To know to hear the song you sing
You gave my very own
To be left with none
After several voices that warned
Of course the voices were ill formed
Since it was norm we only listened
When our voices echoed in cacophony.

Okay let’s watch from outside and critique
I can certainly see how planning with me;
Was cold, long and bleak
But would you admit;
Our foundations were weak.
Oh the smiles on our faces
when I see it's pretty orange face tick
We lost sight of what mattered
And sunk into a show of individuality
A party of idiosyncrasies
What happened to the sum that equalled us?

I’ll tell the truth and admit
I feel as though an island sat alone
And before driving me loony
Projected from my thoughts 
The memories of the beauty in seeing you smile
It’s rejected by my mind
Deprived of its vitality;
That-which came from you,
I realised, it isn’t missed
By the skin; it chose to scorch.

While I wonder if you know
Though it appears so you chose
One thing I had failed to realise
I guess my biggest regret
Is seemingly how the ugly
Is beauty at its simplest.
Beetroot red
Sorry for all the wrong that was said
While I keep memories of us alive
I wouldn’t be lying
Keeping missing you suppressed.

"...things end, memories barely ever...
And sometimes you miss the memories more..."

I told my story

I am free
like the song bird on a tree.
Today i told my story
to a wall with three listening ears,
I said the days were bitter
they said you walked out your fears
out the terrors of the night
away from the memoires of horror-,
I am free.
Free like the winds of forgiveness
but im sinking in the inability to forget.
You handed me life drops in a cup
and forced them through my tiny hiccups
you patronise me with kind words and gifts
sadden me with words of your reflection
and then you do it all over again
till you derive a joyful expression.
but I am free.-
Free like the edge of a river
dying to spill into the endless sea
I died long ago, in one named emotion,
revived today, still sitting in a pool-of 'hemotions'.
Hate flowing in my vein
as i hoped and pray you'd feel such pain
but didn't I forgive you already
but i forget, because of the horror
I see in the mirror
each day i awake -
from a night time of terror.
But I am free
free from my blood, pooling with hate
hoping to see your brian deflate
watch you bleed
through all the orifice my eyes could find
but of what good are you
if to life you were blind?
after all I turned out pretty well for myself
not a  single imbalance
I am free
from the years of hate, self hate
and wondering how life would equate
if your undignifying act abates,
but i want you and your cowardly likes to see;
I told my story
to a wall with three listening ears
and Im free and you're forgiven,
may the Lord help me forget.

4 U

For all the kindness you show


for making me feel the need for no other but u

realising that others were artificial

and to me u were always beneficial

you were not only humble

you were patient with me babe

kept me abreast so i wouldn't stumble

that's why i was so into you

and still is

for no i couldn't ever give you up

even though time and space tore us up

i aint never stopped thinking of you babe

the few scares, arguments and sea of laughs

i had to write

to show you how much;

you had your boy feeling good

so tonight i wished upon a star

just like the one by my window

the night;

i couldnt stop thinking how beautiful u are,

-that you find fields of endless happiness

in the freedom from loving

and not being able to receive as much as you deserve

that you could see my eyes

and read how much my tears

spell how much you're appreciated

for the time you gave,

your dedication so brave

the prayers that continuously availed

tonight i'll let the truth prevail

and tell you how much i miss you so.

Thank you,

even if i filled the universe with those words

they aint enough to thank you.
 

Love Bipolar

you see I summon truth

but from the teeth of bureaucracy

I must have been crazy 

to think I'd find 

something meaningful 

something kind

in the long lost wars of my mind.

lets rewind

maybe find the first piece 

that made the snowball rolling downhill

o what a steal

you found the preciousness in my kind

shift gears and cant decide

love me politically correct

shit hits the fan

somehow you managed to push eject

and the theorem of your trust being futile

I still can't reject.

Belittling words define your phrases

indiscriminate injustice 

yet I still sing your praises

love with no reciprocate value

just thinking of it,

I turn blue,

walled by lies of no hue 

I'm within

would you set me free

I sure am crazy 

to still see love 

in your awkward plea.

We can make a mountain of every mould

we did that the best 

even when the sun chose to rest

I made a piece of you 

from a cast iron mold

frigid like you, quite stone cold

but in my sanity, quite frankly;

you were truly the best

but I still hate you, more so than the rest. 

Fimisola-Samuel

The point of it all; Living free

Got my eyes set from atop the hills
to see beyond the horizons
fenced by excessive thrills and bills
feeling the voice of the breeze
as the eagles glide with will
still sleeved in the scars of reality
that only time will heal.
It's not a mistake that's a mistake
it's all that we give and take
for congruency in life;
purpose we still seek each day
to attain it,

we sip of life's poison and slowly age
with a chapter each day, turn another page
through a line half written
suddenly caged
put asunder by a higher power
and I wonder if I'll wonder
whether I found it or
if i finished where i was supposed
but i suppose,
I caught a glimpse of what it should be;
how I should be remembered
like dust, Living free

Picture from: Sycamore Publications

Fimisola-Samuel
9/25/2011

untitled

Would u make me feel spicy; 
As in my soliloquy 
I still find you pricey
But u seem to have lost your key
Dry as the dead sea.
Well if u ask me
U still got the flavour,
that charmed me.
So let's get risqué
Forget the risky
Lose all senses
Till we titillate we.


Fimisola-Samuel

Free Verse 1

Hello, hello Perfect lil world
having you speak
where speaking is contraindicated
we're both acting like bodies
with their minds disconnected
i'm laying low with spirit evicted
from a mind that was once elated
now sitting in seats with the conceited
doning hats stigmatised by words i repudiated
I wonder?
If you ever realise or even maybe visualise
how much of my land you basterdise
yet with your critiques patronise me
I wonder why my cries
are met with a loud bellow of lies
Hmmn, I'm tripping,
who gives a sha what I'm thinking?
since it aint what your nice little thoughts
are thinking
I'm guessing, undressing; naked
then suctioned into soliloquy
heart fractioned smaller than peas
left dessicated,
dedicated to fearing your thoughts of me
pssh...you see me, you know me
but time flew by
deleted the old me
scold me, judge me
try to tell my future
extrapolating from curvatures past
life aint no straight line graph
drop the past, learn from it
take of yourself a radiograph
see your intense defects
and upon them reflect
teach me to hold a better tomorrow
but you'd rather shoot arrows
with words that pierce deep
beyond the heart of the souls' marrow
the truth hurts
but your judgement captains sorrow
so perfect lil world
how is it you're so perfect
as not to see the failure
in your inability to access tranquil behaviour?
yet you're my only saviour
wush...sh together we dive into contumacy
and once again my mind in conturbation
the cycle keeps a steady pace of replication
but tell me why
this world cant seem to mind its own
while the blood of my thoughts
spill out a collage of lonsomeness
where i find joy and kindness
away from the world and all of its likeness.

Fimisola-Samuel