Narrative 1

The simplest thing to lose-
time
the hardest thing to do-
change,
neither of which I'm ready to spare.
Should I walk around in fear?
as you keep talking about me,
in words that pierce like a spear
with lies bless every willing ear
get a grip, it's been over 2 years.
I reminisce on days love was meek
we kiss and you'd be my freak,
the rain clouds are gone
now it's clear your brain needs a tweak.
There ain't no future in the past
any chance of repair long passed
I'm over the love spells you cast.
Bob said; "no woman no cry"
sometimes i think he lied
then my thoughts you begin to fry
like when I sent my star to say hi
and then you walk out my sky
and slip back into my arm with your look of lies
we share a kiss over lime, chicken and fries.
I called your name by the riverside
it echoed back on the waves tide
with a message that you moved on
the ears you fed lies
on your behalf of me now request,
that with you i begin new ties
sorry it won't happen even after I die
a simple reason why;
man returns not to his vomit
and to me you're just one big chunk of it.


Fimisola-Samuel

You should know

You’re always in my head
like one plus one equals two
my humble thoughts you misconstrue
I’m running around in disbelief
the pain of losing you is beyond relief.

You seem not to realise
how much my troublesome fears materialise,
I hear you in my head
As I remember the faint squeaks of my bed
Knowing that someday to you I’ll be dead
You remain silent like the dark of the night
I wonder if my bravery is likened to a knights,
I delve into the sea of extraordinary madness
Too deeply sunken; anchored by my weakness,
You, yeah; you are my weakness.

My strength melts away
with the thoughts of your caress
and as my needs you address
I’m flung into unending delirium
deadened to all sensorium
everything is nothing but tedium
then suddenly I awaken to reality
and I’m left again in frank pandemonium.

I decide it’s whatever
but just when I say it don’t matter
sudden feelings I begin to discover
well maybe I had lied while undercover
having you ponder if I got something to offer
if you don’t mind, let me restrategise my offer.
For you're always in my head
as the love of you won’t give up easily
me, I go show you am a hard performer
because with me it’s;
whenever, wherever, however-forever.

I ain’t trying to impress
or float your boat on the sea of distress
I just pray I be the one to help your nerves de-stress
my hands, your body dress and undress
and in my empire, you; forever my empress
with undoubted permanence; like a seal's press.


Fimisola-Samuel

Tik-Tok Tik

She kills me everyday
slowly and quietly
but blinds me with the beauty
of love and friendship,
renders me humble through discipleship
soon i can ride the seas of leadership,
she teaches me from the pain
of hate and lies
yet spills my heart with joy
like my mama's french fries,
she's impatient like daddy's eyes
clicking away like wooden pegs.
There's never enough of her,
but much of her I spend staring into space
thinking of how much I love her,
deadened with no sensorium
how do i handle this tedium?
My fragile limbs when day is done
in more of her, I receive my healing
till the break of dawn.
I would love to have her forever
she gradually eludes me
but we'll never be together
'cos once she's gone-like right now
she's gone forever

In my head

In the middle of a cold wintery sky 
a perfect blended hue
tinted black, purple and blue 
watching from afar, a little shy
the whispered prayer, that is you.

Lightening flashes cream and gray
if thou please i may, sip endlessly,
from your passion on replay
you strum on my ponder
I wonder; if u will tickle me, chocolate thunder.

The stars of your eyes have put on a show 
it reflected on my chest like crystal snow
but in my mind I discover
is where u take off my cover 
another dream, yet you're all I desire; chocolate thunder.

I douse my internal inferno
thinking; me, you and the quiet
a room scented lit in candles, perfect scenario
in tranquility of delirium, in the hands of your hero,
if still i dream, then let beside me, be my pillow.


Fimisola-Samuel

I always will

Clicking of the menacle bound hands
the limitation of boundaries
frozen pictures of memories
before were a strange two-
at crossroads journeying,
tragically i'm already fallen
into the words that said you'll be there
now my eyes find you nowhere
once upon a time you once were.
The lines of your smile tell a lie
all the same they make me smile
even as we fain wish to reconcile.
Heat from your touch
my shackles melt like a blow torch
now you're hidden like treasures old
in my heart, dead-stone cold
my shackles you remold.

hmmn...

yet hope isn't all gone
for if life be still
all things may go wrong
but there's always another,
another chance to take the right turn.
In my blindless,
I fell in love with being stagnant
of all by you given blessings,
remains yet no remnant
but as the rains pour
and my shelteredness in you devoured
i'm purged white as pure.
Surrounded by walls of emptiness
but rooted in a land fertility has cured
beyond the horizon is the rising of the sun
freedom! Alas thou maketh me thy son
and in my heart streams endless passions
I'm victorious indeed, it needs no assertion.
Still I love even in your disapprobation.
Still, I do....think of you
like wind does of the mill
but its okay if you choose not to be still.
but I always will

Fimisola-Samuel

Evergreen

As I walk through the woods
from deep beneath my hood
I see that evergreen is the pine
through the coldest winter
and so are the grass
on the other side of the bridge
there's always a brighter tomorrow
so long I can stand to face my sorrow.

Beneath the bridge is a little ridge
for which the little fern made a home
I see a stream constantly tilting it
to no avail shall it be moved
evergreen so, yet shall it be
where there is a focus
you just don't quit.


Through the stormiest weather
and the scruffiest of shoes
yet ever green is the lawn
through sadness and pain
I will not be moved.
For evergreen is a tree
rooted by the bank of a sea,
my hope is in YOU.

Fimisola-Samuel

Lyric of Irony

For every win someone had failed

for every life someone had died

for every coin there is always the head and so a tail

for every true story is always a tell tale.

For every vow is a broken promise,

for every first kiss that was bliss

is always another that drew in nemesis

for every friend made a new enemy is found

For every man a heart and dirt on his feets' sole

love engraved in hate-running free in his soul,

for every woman is a fountain of life

and then along comes miscarriage.

and now for every carriage used at the marriage

is another,-direction; towards living separate ways

for the same way we fall in love

is the same way we fall out of it

what happened to all the dreams and quivering nights

thoughts shared, secrets told and love made,

yet it's so easy to walk away

feeling no hollow and the other just mellow.

Trapped in a body, feeling old as the first snow

what happened to touring the world?

The child born a few minutes ago

Now you've got a job that's taken you far away.

Where went laughing with the neighbours

by the fresh pond beneath the summer sunset

that i mind my business so much

they've been murdered a while ago...

...that explains the smell through the window,

I would have thought I'd be the first to know.

For every coffee and tea shared

someone's ego is always being fed

in deceit you have found trust

honesty laced up with so much pride

it's no better than lies

then you wonder, 'why I don't have friends'.

So if we all failed now who has won

and if we all won, has anyone indeed won?

we hope our enemies die,

who would remain?...you'd be dead too.

Life's too short...so we all say

not that I think it is

we only simply realise at the 23rd hour

an entire day just about passed by

but hey i got one more hour...

what if we had another?

Life's too short...so we'd both agree.

The lonely obese alcoholic

I'm a lilly, dancing in the rain
to the tune of the passing wave
in the middle of the ocean
I'm too small to feel earths motion
in my oblivion-in my own world,
I am my companion
and under no one's decree.
I'm a bumble bee yet on a buzzing spree
living on nectar free
I worry not about the calorie
contempt in round me
and when crucifying voices ring
well behind me is a powerful sting
yet inside me is life's so sweet.
I'm a firefly bumping into the grass
and every single night lands into a glass
I find my way home
in my staggering flight
and with my dimming light
I see the beauty inside
tell me, why should I be caged?

Fimisola-Samuel

My Queen; A Jezebel

You tell all these lies
I don't know why
felt I could die
yet you still deny
I saw with my eyes
how in his arms you lie
I send my star to say hi
and then you walk out of my sky
Please tell me why.
In Pain there is no gain
not in this game,
game of no aim.
The rain fell again
wet! yet I still remain
you came, turned off my flame
left me cold and plain
you stroke my mane
and then use it for a cane
be that as it may
your heart still is my domain
and my name,
would you please call again.

Fimisola-Samuel

Words

Words words, watch your words
like a Nazis' bullet
They end a thousand lives.

Words words, watch your words
like piercing arrows
they glide with the wind

Words words watch your words
for with their poisoned tips
one fellows ears, you've kissed cold.

Words words watch your words
for like oil in fire
has filled the city with stories told.

Words words watch you words
for with their falling flames
someone's heart you've maimed.

Words words watch you words
for like a bushman's boomerang
in a swirling return...hits you like 'bang'!!.

Fimisola-Samuel

Melted

Through your eyes
I've seen this beautiful world of mine
you're gone,
now all I am is blind.
I guess they were right,
"if it were never yours
it never will be,
they'll love you for a day
and tomorrow
those words that healed your sorrows
forgotten by the mouth that spake 'em."
And sure it seems like they did,
did forget how they kissed my lips
and it tasted like roses
how they bit my ears and licked my navel
and said words that made me marvel,
all the things I shouldn't have given
but I did
For I thought it was beautifully being taken.
seems like they forgot how
they'd lay my head on their thigh
stroke my chest and make me feel high
and I still almost forgetting
they weren't really mine
some reality I'd wish to deny
but the truth is, I never stole what wasn't mine.
The one to whom I still wouldn't lie
about how much I dream of the nights
we stared the world in its eye
by the beach beneath the starry sky.
About How much I want a hug or a kiss
one last time-that my troubled heart may live in bliss,
How I long for your touch
that fills me with hope
that in this tiresome world my heart may cope
but all you ever do to each moment I try
to make your friendship still mine
you put 'em aside, like ageing wine
when for your heart I dare not ask
as we both know that aint rightfully mine
but if it's worth having its worth fighting for.
I feel like behind a mask you hide,
talking to you,
feels more awkward than chewing dry hide
and why in a distance beyond miles
from everything about me
you've chosen to reside
with these thoughts I still can't abide
when in this life or the next
I wish no eveil upon you
one truth we both know.
Somehow I know,
I know you've got life
and surviving through its strife
but I hate to assume
you too quickly healed
but if you did, however you did
pls let me know,
that I may hope
and not at my walls in sadness mope
that I may have strength
and not in my weakness mellow and nest
that I may smile
if I never thought of you for a mile
that like you, I be free and healed.
Otherwise, I,
I shed a tear before going to bed
and whisper sweet words to the air
and hope that you've heard
and forgiven my every offend
because if I am wrong
I don't want to pretend
I just want dim lit candles
and laying beside you in bed.

Fimisola-Samuel

Breast Cancer.

The sun shone brightly
could barely see beyond the scope of my window
looking beneath my microscope
its another familial case
one more biopsy
i'm already too familiar
how much more could i bear to see
my soul rumbles as i write a report
the tears i hide beneath my lips
as i watch you in disbelief
the same way you watch me
tell you accepting it is relief.
The mammograms revealing pulled up fibres
the calcific areas, localizing necrosis
sentinel lymphatics, already infiltrated
I tell you, your best choice is mastectomy
you break down in my arms
like several others have
and one more time i recount to God
Lord this job why must I have.
Just as i manage to console her
another woman is drawn in
the stench, the sight
a breast spliced open in two
eaten beyond repair by cells of you
drains the entire ward of hope
i wonder how many times i have to breakdown
chemotherapy, radiotherapy
imunosuppression, opportunistic infections
yet with each day
she looks at me, i c how hard she's fighting
that's when i appreciate life more
each day she'd cry out i had no lumps
but a retracted nipple she had
one sign she had forgotten
didn't see the eleventh day
but her faith and courage
left an impression days couldn't savage
then a few month later
a brother walks in
its infiltrated him too
and another painful cycle begins
which we hope to curb
with education, hope and research
soon and very soon, keep the hopes up
and keep on fighting by staying positive.

Fimisola-Samuel

Seed sower

And so life began
not that i bargained for it
and so i fell flat in the hands of him
brought to the eyes of my carriage
i couldn't understand my lineage
not by choice
but where was marriage
it's door left ajar
by nobody but the gardener.
Seed sower, where are you?
living behind the shadow of my own
for the mirror in which my reflection shone
already broke since love you haven't shown.
Followed her everywhere
learned to be a man
from thinking in the mind of a woman
found solace in the hand
hand of him that sold contraband
though he took me for his own
i learnt all too quickly
how to sell my own,
but really twas eating my freedom
eyes opened being caged
3 days behind bars
yet she was all i owned
seed sower, where were you?
Learnt all too quickly to love
glad i didn't turn out like you
i treat her like mama taught me
she loves me like i love you
but knows me like you'll never know
your absence helped me grow
your actions made me strong
and your words as negative as the were
drove me to whom I am today
all I ask is one day
so you'll say to mama
how much we meant if anything.
For now
your hidden love will suffice.

Fimisola-Samuel

Cure.

pain is the after thought
your love was the disease
my heart was the log
that your chainsaw of lies fell.
My tears were the heavenly drops
from which your garden of deception fed
my hands were the plough
that built ridges and beds
yours were in my pocket
like locust over harvest.
I am the mace in the hands of a warrior
your the clang that delivered my soul
yet as if were from an enemy
delivers a fatal blow,
my deliverer, my only foe.
This chronic pain eating deep into flesh and bone
not in any right my eternal desire
but since i tasted your evil elixir
impossible it became
to withdraw from this unwholesome lure
but poetry, poetry is cure.

Fimisola-Samuel

Burning cold

Have you ever felt rain
and its dark clouds
as its drops fell and burnt so cold
have you ever been in light
and yet blinded,
blinded by the shadow of your doubt.

Do you know how it feels
to give with an open heart
to outstretched arms
that will not recieve?
Had you known the feel
of the rush of seeing you
would you smile back with a grin
hidden on the left side of your chin?

Your face my sunshine
but to you, mine's so cold
but why am I so bold
as to get drunk in your words
sweet as wine so old?
When to see your tears drop
burnt acid cold.

So would you ever know
how your pretence hurt me so
would you drink this potion you give
I wonder,
would it burn just as cold?

Fimisola-Samuel

Euphoria

How do you love
without knowing hate,
how do you seek light
without feeling dark?
Excitement yet confusion
deluded, locked in
but freed in the unbound mind.

How can you know the truth
without being told a lie,
how can you be rich
if you never were poor?
Stolen yet found
lost in words
revived by the power in them.

How do you have friends
without being a loner,
how can thoughts not matter
without them being hurtful?
Self awareness, self broken
constant criticism
still will fight to finish.

How can you say impossible
without first failing,
how do you quit
without knowing the start?
Searching still, floating in tears
unfound identity
yet everything no other can be.

FiMisola-Samuel

God Dilema

Confused, missing, broken
searching, yearning, questions
yet no clue, no proof, no answers
so I hope at the foot of the cross
ain't nothing but people's words
they annoy and make me cross
searching through the books
nothing makes it better than history
like someone sat and made up a story
but at my every wrong
those words make me sorry.
All brovas trynna win you over
sistahs saying there ain't no other
but if all paths were right
so what decides the right?
The son of a preacher man,
the one who refuses halal
what about the toddler...kissing on Baal
from that junction-ain't no other word but lost
'cos i've tried at every cost
just to hear him speak like they say he do
searching is like trynna find the unexplainable
'zit cos we don have enough wisdom to be able
how 'bout it's all just a fable
like some friends dining over wine at a table
may be that's what makes a miracle
wait-how about we just consult an oracle?
They say he ever faithful,
how about man just created a thought
to fill the void of him needing something more?
and he just passed it to his sons
with stories exaggerated all the more.
Without it they say we'd be lost
but because of it the twin towers have been lost?
would 7.7.'07 ever have happened?
maybe the Nazi's would never have lived...
if in the end there were no heaven or hell
what if 'twas a thing of culture
well that seems to ring a bell
judge not that thou may not be judged
innumerable are they that said in hell i belong
i just might remind them about that law
when someday, i walk by them in hell.
They say in his breath all life was made
from whatever was it he was made
as fondly called...the uncreated creator.
In his image all was beautifully made
if you will allow-then u imagine her image.
so what happened to sex and genome?
and since evolution wasn't that the norm?
who would deny being formed by nuclear fusion
and then chromosomal and cellular fission?
evolution itself has tables left unturned
for earth has rolled over many millennia
yet the only thing evolving are viruses and bacteria
that's because humans mock up their genes
and already expiring patients'
failure to comply with drug regimes.
Speaking of sex how about they that judge the sodomites
and say it's cos such men be possessed
how in animals can they explain it
if it were such a sin
why would he let the world be so full of it?
so he can sit there and count more people go to hell?
and ain't that breaking his words
that he ain't one to take pleasure in wickedness,
Some say its a matter of choice
tell me since when did 'bent' swans tell left from right?
and all this while of the just suffering
so where did he have his eyes?
Since life indeed is not fair, so maybe it's just-coincidence.
To talk about his incidence is to dare his precedence
so we all follow along...like zombies with no conscience.
How do u have a leader with unquestionable principles?
and nothing about his incidence we know,
and yet his perfection so rightly remains unquestioned.
Well i keep asking my questions
even to the men and women who hold his positions
in what ever clan or religion
and all they keep saying is read his holy words
and some even dare take the piss
cos i've given them a taste of their own medicine
but certainly i walk away with a hiss
but that is to say in other words
that they themselves are just as lost.
But more disturbing is the question...
what exactly are we living for
and a more incongruous answer
living life for God...
so what is this God?
don't get me wrong...not taking a piss off anyone!
zit just another hide and seek in the mob
or simply all by the books called?
then twill be nothing but defined by someone
but just as i think..its all vain
and until he speaks, or does someone with answers
so i will remain...

Fimisola-Samuel

Opportunity

My days i wish were easy as the wind
searching beneath the turmoil of hope
i have awaited turns
in my blindness missed them all
unjustifiably yearning
inexpressibly dedicated
but opportunity where at thou?
Closed thine ears to my raging cry,
sitting behind the sty
watching birds fly
i see how they never worry
but if i never do
left of me will be sorry.
If it were wrong making choices
why serve me them on a platter of gold
but even with every choice
opportunity where art thou?
I wouldn't sit and fold my arms
if only i had that choice
at length of arms.
So each morning rolls
like a pebble in the running stream
but then i realize how much it never moves
but you see i can move
and maybe just when i do again
and again and again with each day
i pray thee-opportunity
...you'll finally look my way...

2.B.Cntd...

Fimisola-Samuel

Crave II

you need me like the air you breathe
but you cannot need me
just as much as i need you
in my thoughts of love
lust is just pure contradiction...
a moment with you
the peak of all addiction
you being far away-disrupts my senses
in a altered state of delirium
i forget my tenses.
if every grain the made a mountain
were enough to express desire
i'd sell my soul to retrieve life's fountain
and then get you each one
before i gladly retire.
you're the rhythm
to which my heart beats
you're the soul
that gives me the blues.
in four lines...i crave you like this;
just as water knoweth no source or end
and in the ground
it shall always be found
you are the wind
my lung never ceases to breathe.


...yet in my every fall
and my heart left
in the centre of the mall
i've been loved, felt love
and yet know no love
still, after it i still run.
Left in the dark of lies
but my fire of trust still burns
pictured by the side of your eyes
you ignore it and leave me burnt.
so why do i still want?
why am i so thirsty
as to endure all this hurt?,
for to deny my feelings
is the aftermath of a gun shot
and in my search of what is true
is living in daylight torture
my confusion speaks to me
"exactly what are you looking for?"
but in my denial
my brain's froze...only my heart speaks on
would i ever know
what on earth it's looking for?
then i look on to the brighter side of life
but it's yet to be complete
and is sick with strife
without you my eternal desire
and until i find you
i do hope to keep inspired.

Fimisola-Samuel

Crave

i try to imagine
what it's like to sleep with a healed heart,
i try to find the freedom in sweet words
i'm still hiding beneath the fear of hurt
i doubt every second of trust
i just call it lust
but indeed i long to read/hear ur thoughts
and in my anxiety i start to shake
i tingle and quiver with each line you make
staring at your picture
is like heaven again
every moment, every second
every minute of everyday
my head like a balloon
you keep blowing away
i think you're cute
dream of your voice
it's like the melody of a flute
maybe its love, maybe its lust
but all i know is, for u,
i can never cease to hunger...

Fimisola-Samuel

Beautiful Weakness

On a bright sunny day
you're the cloud that pours down rain
soaked and heavy,
I continue all the way.
Through the fresh summer days
you're the little pollen grain
that makes me wheeze through another day
the beautiful flower, I need to smell again.
Through the stormy weather
you were the nights darkest hour
but through it all
you sheltered me beneath your umbrella.
In the dark of the night
when in my sleep I'd dream
you're my nightmare
but when i pray, it's to dream you over again.
The days roll by
left only in the pages of memory
some forgotten and some, we'd like to be
but you're a page-so beautifully written
it be impossible to.

I Put A Spell On You

I put a spell on you
on first sight
I put a spell on you
the first night
even nights you'd cry
for eggs we can't fry
'cos gas bills a paid,
days I'd drag home at night
and drop walking the stairs
while the kids were out in a fight
I put a spell on you
that makes you mine
Why did you need a spell
'cos at everything i did
you'd always yell.
When I walk this way
you say walk that way
in a world we both own
where is my own?
My shadow barely gone
to your spare you've already run
so I went me home
and I put a spell on you
so I could be the man in my own home.
Our love, like fire glowing
on the little stove in the corner
slowly faded away as the sun rises
it's losing out on power
my heart racing faster
you're not getting any nearer
my eyes not looking any further
for beside me lay another
but like a purple blossom,
I put a spell on you
that when the night falls
the little fire glows
in my bosom eternal.
So I Put a spell on you
words cannot describe
that in your heart
my love you'll forever inscribe
it's as wild as the river flows
that with each morning
in my eyes you'll forever glow.
I put a spell on you
that you may find no substitute
so like the rose
you remain my pulchritude
from words said so carelessly
I wonder why i cant let you go
for I put a spell on you
the day I said for ever I do.

Fimisola-Samuel

If this is love

though her perfume fills the room
you're all day home with you alone
she's unaware of the last word you said
she's lying on her back
and before you turn yours
she's dancing with the stars.
you speak and when she does
the rules are laid and the bound is placed
too much in love
that her questions don't hurt
tough love you love
but what's the point
2 hearts slowly draining?
or two hearts just used to each other,
if that's love-then i don't want.
her stories never end
automatically yours shouldn't too
so she thinks, and when there is none
are you seeing someone else?
where is the trust?
she'll find it in the last text that came in
one room 2 hearts worlds apart
you try to think how this ever came to being
at that point-she touches the right spots
you feel as if you've been wrong
yet no trace of guilt
is this still love?-then something ain't right.
you finally said i do
ofcourse to all and anything she'd wish
it's only a couple minutes away
honey i need you to get that from the store
you get back and like before
she's zipped tight but
this time dancing with the stars
all you asked for was a simple meal
while you went on errand to the mill
bro if this is ur love-i sure ain't seeing you in it.
you finally get the courage to talk
she says it's you who's been changing
makes me wonder didn't she know you before
i wonder too, well that's all you can do
and then you wake to cock-a-do
from the alarm she left a note in-that read
it didn't have to be this way...you feel the same too
but as usual it's all your fault for nat making things right
but i'm sure she forgot it takes 2 to tangle
and she could have tried too.
if this is love-i'd sell my heart never to feel it.

Fimisola-Samuel

Colours of my love

A woman pure as white
yet as naughty as red can be.
as humble as the lowly black
dignified beyond compare like purple
no less richer than yellow in all
but as ordinary as orange can be
my reason for survival just as green
couldn't be more simple a little like brown
and like indigo a heart so deeply full of love
eyes just as magenta I can't stop looking at
and a touch so soft feels like burgundy.

Fimisola-Samuel

Unfailing Friend

For you brought me into the joyful morn
outta the storms on the seas of the night
kept me through the evil shadows of the day
into the peace of the serene evening
took my little light in the corner
and brightened the night
the little stream of water
out of whom living waters revived the land.
And so every second of each day
is another chance for me to give you praise
for you've been wonderful in so many ways
even in this hardcore life
the reason why i ask for the grace
to survive this tiring race,
for your eyes are on the tiniest cells
to largest of things you made
I know you're watching me
and so a wonderful peace me got ina me soul
and a heart; joyful unspeakable
because you've made me whole.
Even for every breath i take,
another reason to thank you
for you've been there through my oppression
and even when me feel lonely
i know you ain't gone but I have walked
I'm so glad for i got a friend never turning back on his word
And so for each chance you gave
those that I took and those i didn't
I bless you real good
and for your eyes are on all you made
Lord I know you're watching over me.

Fimisola-Samuel